How Does Trauma Hurt Relationships?
Confusing Thoughts, Emotions and Behaviors
PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and other trauma symptoms are extremely challenging for couples - and in all intimate relationships of partnerships, marriage, children and family. The PTSD "triggers" of re-experiencing, avoidance and arousal can be especially debilitating, and often don't respond to talk therapy or anger management because the real problem is a reactive nervous system. Fortunately for all of us, innovations in psychotherapy have taken us far from "talk therapy" and into a world of brain reprogramming.
Often a traumatized individual is well aware of the impact of a traumatic event because they are actively reliving flashbacks with visuals, sounds, sensations or smells, and they avoid anything that reminds them of the situation. However, many traumas are buried deep in a person's psyche, leaving a person with no direct knowledge of how they are being affected.
Whether a trauma is consciously known or buried in the unconscious, it may be contributing to confusing thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that will challenge your life and relationships. An EMDR therapist can evaluate you for PTSD and discuss the impact the symptoms are having on your relationships.
New Ways to Discern Reality
While EMDR may eventually reduce much of the reactivity over time, you will need to learn many new skills because of entrenched patterns of response. Once you get some basic education about the symptoms, you can begin to change your life. The involvement of your family can be very helpful, especially if both partners have PTSD (as often happens).
The biggest task is in learning new ways to discern reality when so much of reality is being distorted by trauma symptoms. With or without your partner or family members, it takes commitment, perseverance and a skilled therapist to help you stabilize your emotional reactions and increase your emotional intelligence. The key ingredient of change is having the best interest of your loved ones at heart and being willing to do the work.
Many of the therapists listed on this website also work with couples, families and children and can help you make your relationships more loving and less reactive. Because they have training in EMDR, they know the impact trauma can have on day-to-day functioning and can help support positive change.
Although you may have been powerless when you were traumatized, as an adult you can choose to learn new skills, take responsibility for your reactions to past traumas and begin to reduce your experiences of being a victim.
The EMDR Therapist Network:
We are professionals skilled in the therapeutic use of EMDR and we are here to support you and your loved ones in your quest for health, happiness and well-being.
Find an EMDR Therapist for you and your relationship.
The EMDR Therapist Network serves the states of Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oregon,
Pennsylvania, Texas, Virginia, Washington.
